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Do you feel misunderstood?

Caroline and babies

In the shadows where they stand,
Unseen by most, in a forgotten land,
Society’s judgment, harsh and cold,
But within their hearts, a story unfolds.

Misunderstood, their journey unseen,
By those who know not where they’ve been,
Yet in the darkness, a transformation brews,
From the pain and struggle, strength ensues.

God’s hand, a sculptor in the night,
Molding souls, turning wrongs to right,
Squeezing them tight in trials so deep,
To awaken the beauty they’ve yet to reap.

They too yearn for a brighter day,
For the weight to lift and fears to sway,
Hold patience in your heart, my friend,
For their healing journey has no end.

Empathy and sympathy, let us embrace,
To lift them up, in this trying space,
For beneath the pain, their hearts do yearn,
To break free and finally learn.

With love and understanding, we’ll impart,
The strength to mend a broken heart,
And as they emerge from the darkest night,
They’ll shine with newfound, radiant light.

bY: Caroline Bongo

Finding my tribe

“Father Lord, I earnestly prayed, ‘Help me find my tribe, that will help me find my voice, that will help me sing my song.’ Even as I type this today, I see the sequence of a song, I see the rhythm of the words, and I see the music in it all. Because that’s how my mind works.

Why was I making this prayer? Because I was feeling pretty lost. I had just come from a session of desperately trying to explain myself to someone who did not understand me, who I was, what I did, and why I did what I did the way I did it. We were both in the vineyard, we were both creatives, and we had so much in common, but try as I did, they could not understand me. I gave up.

Then I realized that for the one person who did not ‘get’ me, there was always another who picked the words right out of my mouth. If I developed a thought, they voiced it before I could. They have read every single blog I have written since I started over a decade ago! They have read my books, downloaded my music, and shared it with anyone who cares to listen! They will listen to my podcasts, even those that sound boring even to me!

Then it occurred to me that my tribe is out there. They are my support team, they are my backup, they are my cheerleaders. They do not care if I am rich or broke, they do not care if I am small or famous. They like everything I say, they enjoy everything I do, and they are in sync with who I am.

The mistake we make in life is to presume that we are sent for everyone. In business, we want to sell our products and services to everyone, as a minister, we want to pastor each and every one. Each one of us has the people we are called for. The issue is that, like a needle in a haystack, we will have to find our lot. It’s a very slow and tedious process, which requires one to develop a thick skin because the amount of distraction we face from opposing tribes is incredibly crazy.

The Bible in John 3:27 says, ‘A person can receive only what is given them from heaven.’ That’s why it’s important to be patient. If God has given you a mission and you are burning to get the word out there, ask Him for your tribe. Ask Him to bring the target people for which your mission lies. Our God is faithful and kind. He will do it speedily because it’s more important to Him than you to fulfill the work for which He set you at the beginning of the world.

Finding your tribe is not just about connecting with people who share your interests or beliefs; it’s about finding those who resonate with your unique voice, your individuality, and your purpose. In a world full of noise and distractions, it’s easy to feel lost, to feel like you’re speaking to an audience that doesn’t quite understand or appreciate your message. But rest assured, your tribe is out there.

The people who are meant to walk alongside you on your journey, the ones who will amplify your voice, and harmonize with your song are waiting to be found. They are the ones who will support you, inspire you, and lift you up, regardless of your circumstances or your status. Your tribe will stand by you through thick and thin, believing in your mission and your vision.

But the path to finding your tribe is not always straightforward. It’s a journey that requires patience, resilience, and unwavering faith. You may encounter many who don’t resonate with your message, and who don’t understand your vision, but that’s okay. Remember that you are not sent to everyone. Your calling, your mission, and your message are meant for a specific group of individuals.

As you embark on your quest to find your tribe, keep the words of John 3:27 close to your heart. Trust in the divine plan and timing. Ask your Father, the Lord, for guidance, and He will bring the right people into your life. He knows the importance of your mission, and He wants to see it fulfilled.

So, do not lose heart. Keep creating, keep sharing, and keep singing your song. Your tribe is out there, and when you find them, you’ll know. They will celebrate your uniqueness, your authenticity, and your purpose. They will be your unwavering support, and together, you’ll make beautiful music in the symphony of life. Your Father in heaven has already set the stage for your success, and your tribe will be there to cheer you on.”

Celebrating the Real Heroes – Our Fathers

Celebrating Our Real Heros - Our Fathers

“A father’s smile has been known to light up a child’s entire day.” —Susan Gale

10 Things younger fathers can learn from a Veteran Dad

They say that a “Dad is a son’s first hero and a daughter’s first love.”

Nothing could be truer in my life. I am a daddy’s girl by all means, yet I was born of a father that dotes on all his children in a way I have not seen in lots of men. This of course is not to say I know lots of men, so we will maintain my research knowledge to the people in my cycles, including in Novels and Movies! (seriously this is on a light note!)

Growing up my father worked away from home, we saw him once every one or two months. This was quite natural for most employed fathers then. Not a day I imagined that there was anything wrong with this arrangement. My mother on the other side might have struggled to be a mother and father during those periods, but never once did I hear her complain. Growing up in the countryside meant that we had probably 12 other fathers in the form of Uncles, Grandfathers, neighbors  etc I grew up supported by strong men that valued women and encouraged them to be empowered

I remember with lots of fondness the sound of Dad’s 1100cc Vox wagon beetle engine as it used all its power to climb the Ntharagwene hills, We called it gatukutuku because of the tukutuku sound it made. Sometimes gatukutuku made it and sometimes we would gladly have to run down the hill to help push it up. Us and a myriad of other family embers. As kids, my two brothers and I assumed our combined 0.02 horsepower is exactly what the beetle needed to get home! For each trip, Dad would come home with something, An African drum, Tilapia that we had never eaten, another new toy, and sometimes something as big as a tractor!

Dad in His absence did everything to make sure he was present

During holidays he would come the week before exams because education was everything to him. He was among the first set of people around him to receive an education in post-colonial Kenya courtesy of His Grandfather. So if He had to shove literature and math down our throats, and the throats of everyone around him he would, As His children, we had no choice. Being creative I hated the routine of a classroom and preferred doing more exciting things like playing Catie and hide and seek. So I would spend my 80 minutes of a double math lesson fantasizing about the incoming break time! Were it not that I had a tough school teacher mum and a father who never gave us a chance to fail, I would have been something else.

A father of 5 extremely hyperactive children, Dad called us “Chatter Boxes” A man of quiet demeanor that I have never really seen lose his cool in an argument, He would ensure we had everything we needed to pass our exams, He then would reward us to a holiday trip to the place that the Ministry of Lands would have posted him that season. he moved a lot. My love of adventure was born from the holidays in Nakuru, Naivasha, Nyahururu, and Gilgil,…..I could go on. Over the weekends his little beetle would find its way to National Parks, Museums, and Geographical attractions…and for a man earning less than 100 USD per month, that was ALOT!

Dad was raised by an absent father, not by choice but by Colonial order. My grandfather was either in prison or in the Forest as a Mau’Mau Militia for all of Dad’s childhood! yet He turned out a great Father because in Africa a child is raised by the community and because He made a deliberate choice to pull His family out of poverty.

So allow me this wonderful Saturday in Celebrating Fathers’ Day to share 10 things that younger men can learn about being a father, from a man who has been an exemplary Dad for over 46 years

1Abraham Lincoln once said,The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother.” Being married myself today I know that children drive a great sense of security from their parents union. Growing up, I never ever heard my parents argue. To the point that I imagined that they never differed in opinion. Only to grow and realize that just like any other couple these two had their differences and that they chose to resolve them away from us. Now we are older and we can handle that fact but I am grateful as a child I didn’t have to deal with that emotional burden. By providing for Mom, taking care of all her needs, never raising His voice even when upset, and having a united front on how we were raised we got to grow as healthy and balanced children.

2. Train up a child in the way he should go,” so that “even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6 Dad had no chills when it came to using His Kiboko. I am proud to announce that not even once did he ever use it on me. Probably because He was away a lot when I was growing up, but more because I was so afraid of being punished that I was always super obedient. But allow me to speak for my two naughty brothers. I tell you those ones received beatings in all sorts of designs. Lying on the table, standing, running after.. Dad is up to date and operates with a lot of orders, and those orders had to be implemented day to day whether he was home or remotely. Mom ensured that

3. A dad is a protector. I remember my siblings and I sneaking under our parent’s bed to check out his sword, spear, and I think a zapper or something This guy was ready, if thieves came in they would see fire. Thankfully no thief ever came so we didn’t get to see His war skills tested

4. A motivator. Dad was and still is our greatest helper counselor and coach, There are many times my siblings and I have been caught in the web of life: be it university supplementary, being thrown out of school, losing a job, failed business, or relationship, He will travel from wherever He is to come to help detangle our thoughts and give His ultimate wisdom: At our younger age we felt He was too much, but we are so glad today that He always poked his nose into our businesses!

5. Dad is the first and greatest priest in our lives. Up to date He always speaks life to us. Especially at our lowest. A few weeks ago while down at heavens gate I woke up to his message. He had sent it at exactly 5.:37 am ” Good morning Mom. I had a dream, a very clear one. You becoming a renowned gospel singer”

The power of a dad in a child’s life is unmatched.” —Justin Ricklef

6. One of the strongest aspects of Dad is that He never just said, he did. The Bible says in Romans 2: 21-24

“You then who teach others, do you not teach yourself? While you preach against stealing, do you steal? You who say that one must not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? You who boast in the law dishonor God by breaking the law. For, as it is written, ‘The name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.’”

Children learn by observing and copying: and if as a Father you drink and tell your children not to drink, they will follow what you do not what you say. A very principled Man, Dad decided one day in his early 30s that He didn’t like the addiction He had to Sugar and just stopped taking it up to date.

As children, we have known Him to do what He says and to say what he does

7. Fatherhood doesn’t stop when your children grow. I have seen Dad  effectively parent my Husband, In-laws, Children, Nephews, and Nieces with the same commitment He had when we were growing up. A grandpa of 16 now, all our Children dote on Him.. He will travel all the way for their birthdays and in His absence send them each a gift. And that’s a lot of birthdays to remember.

All our spouse’s joy in knowing they have a father in Him!

8. “It is a wise father that knows his own child.” —William Shakespeare

Dad ensured that all five of us were educated to the highest level of education that we could. But as soon as we were done, Our Loving Father would throw us to the Lions: Like Literally!. He did not expect us to rally home and enjoy our after-exam blues. We were out by ourselves. I remember living in a 5USD wooden house in the cold of mount Kenya because that’s what my first job as a management trainee could afford me! I never for one minute thought that there was anything wrong with that arrangement. Today, I owe him most of my successes

“Behind every great daughter is a truly amazing father.” 

9. This is to the Fathers of girls. How you relate to your girls will determine a lot of how they are going to relate to men all their lives. We have grown with a firm Dad, dedicated, committed, Loving, and Present. In that, my sister and I naturally do not expect anything less from our spouses. Which is a tall order to be honest

He has  raised independent girls that He totally believed and made believe that we can be anything we ever would want to be. If you know the two of us, you will not be surprised where we got our confidence from.

But even though he prodded us to our destinies, Dad always treated us like flowers, His princesses. he wouldn’t even let us drive as early as the boys. Girls are meant to be taken care of you know, He raised us understand that we were precious before God and His own sight and we must not allow anyone to treat us any less. 

He is a Man that mastered the art of balancing tenderness and firmness in Raising us girls

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10.   Girls regard dads as their first role model for the opposite gender while boys look to dads for how to behave. says Steve Biddulp

I know I said my Dad has been amazing at lots of stuff, but allow me to tell you where he wins the prize, where He gets the crown. I totally believe that my brothers AND their sons are who they are today because they were raised to be strong men by a strong man.

I have seen Him drive the boys to the wall as soon as they hit teenage, I saw my brother travel by himself, sometimes by foot Kilometers away to pay Farm workers before he was even weaned off adolescence.

Dads sons were taught responsibility at such an early age they did not know any other way. 

Its something that’s getting extinct in boys nowadays. 

If you are a Father of a Boy, Its important to know that you are raising someone’s husband, A Father, a leader and its critical you mold their Character and behavior this early.

Intentionally put aside the time to be with your sons,  focus on them,, talk to them and to play together as much as you can, We must change this generation one son at a time. 

. “A father is someone you look up to no matter how tall you grow”

Finally let me conclude that the role of father originated with God himself, our Heavenly Father, and is a divine role and calling. Becoming a father is an opportunity to become like God, to love and care for children and their extensions as God loves and cares for us.

I hope this gets one more Man to stand up for the Divine role He was given to raise a strong future generation. 

Author . Musician . Blogger
Caroline nkirote-Bongo

info@carolinebongo.com

+254 722 771442

Motherhood is a fulltime job

Motherhood is A Full Time Job

My name is Caroline Bongo, I am a mother, and that’s my full time occupation.

Besides being a wife, I am a consultant agronomist cum food scientist and an entrepreneur too. I am a founding partner of Farm to Fork ltd and others,  Basically that’s what one could call my day job, but that’s what I call ‘my other babies’

Some of these other babies are all still quite young. But I am thrilled to watch them grow day by day. The lessons I have learnt raising biological children, have made me a better business person than any course that could be offered in Harvard!

I happen to have half of me inclined to science and the other half to arts. To be honest, I don’t know which I love most. Because I enjoy doing both.

You see both science and arts involve creativity, and that’s the core of who I am. So then again meet the writer, The author of the book “In the arms of a stranger. The musician, the recording artist and performing artist and the inspirational speaker. (Okay I don’t know if I should say speaker, maybe I should just say, the girl who loves talking😀)

 

But above all the things I do in life, I just love the art of being used by God to conceive, carry, bring a little human to the world and more importantly see them grow into their full potential. I have done this 7 times! And were it not that the biological clock like they say is ticking, I would definitely want to bring more home.

Many times a mother of one will ask me “How do you do it? I can’t even manage one; how do you manage seven?”

My answer always is “I don’t manage, I just parent”

It’s the beauty of economies of scale better by dozens. On a more serious note, when they are that many, they no longer need you, they rarely need your attention anyways; they have each other.

But why do I say motherhood is a full time job…. while I am normally doing what seems like a million other things in a 24-hour day?

It’s because it’s the only one thing that sticks in my mind 100% of the time. Whether I am at home, or with a client, drawing pictures with words, taking a daily walk, practicing with my church choir, travelling literally all the time, I am thinking about my kids.

It’s crazy

 

Like most mothers, will walk into a shop looking for a much needed dress for myself and will find myself back home with some pretty dresses for my girls. I will give up anything for my children.

It’s just what mothers do.

A little while ago, my oldest came to my bedroom and said. “Mom your wardrobe is horrible” I answered with a nod “I know I have gotta buy me some new clothes”. I had just given birth three months before and there was literally almost nothing I could fit in.

I thought she was going to leave it at that but she went on. “Mami I need some cash, I need to buy some stuff” I asked how much. She was going back to school the next day so I thought she needed it as part of her shopping.

I told her how much I had.

She told me to dress up, we were going to buy me clothes in some affordable wholesale cloth shop she had seen with the money I was offering her. She wasn’t going to take a no. That really moved me. My baby me has surely grown up too quickly.

Basically whether a mother is with her kids or not, she is on a full time call. When my first was young, I thought to myself ‘let me work hard and take good care of her, when she turns 16 she won’t need me no more’

Now she is past 16 and I realize she needs me even more. She needs me for more things than food in her mouth or a dress that she needs. She needs me for dating advise, she needs me to help deal with life hurts, she needs me when she is faced with difficult decisions and I know very soon she’s will need me to be just there for her.

I know that because I have a mother who has just been that. Even long after having my own family, she has been the backbone of my stability as a mother.

This is to every woman out there that has spent sleepless nights worried what their child was going to eat tomorrow. The scared mother in tears who sleeps outside the emergency room as the doctors run a medical procedure on her child. To the mother with a special child who cannot do stuff like other human children,

To the special mothers who have taken another woman’s child and treated them like their own, this is too to the mothers who have their little ones in heaven and finally to the hopeful mothers who pray day and night to hold a little one in their arms.

You are all amazing human beings and you deserve a medal. We all have purposes on earth, but a mother fulfills a divine purpose just carrying, adopting and raising a little human.

 

Author . Musician . Blogger
Caroline nkirote-Bongo

info@carolinebongo.com

+254 722 771442

Dreams and Destiny

Dreams And Destiny

This is Miss Lakeisha Zadi Bongo. She is a now 8 and and 5th born in a family of 7. when she was 4 she loved playing Elsa and her favorite food wasn’t even a food! It was ice cream.

When you happen to be born child number 3+ in most families, you may get overwhelmed in the numbers. And its possible that your talents and gifting’s may not be picked up by your parents and the society like they would a first born or an only first child.

But not in this Family. Each child is unique as they were packaged from heaven. And I hope this goes to you too…even to the mother of two.

There are never two children who are alike, even identical twins. I see parents making a mistake of doing corporate parenting. Raising kids as if they are a heard of goats. No kids are human and very intelligent at that

One of the biggest mistakes we as parents make is using the rules that we raised number one for number two with. It simply never works. With one discipline and firmness works with another rewards and incentives is what works. You just have to learn your child as if its a unique project, of which it is

I am always amused at kindergarten teachers. How they are able to deal with a class room of 15 children raised in different families and yet birth the best out of them. This is what every parent must be able to do.

I wrote this blog four years ago and I thought it would add value to you seeing how far we have come.

Speaking Life!

So today I had an early morning Gahunda (Kinyarwanda for meeting) with Baby Lakeisha. I told her we needed to talk quite some deep stuff but she had to remove her trousers first. She had wet herself again. Immediately she started walking out of the room.

I repeated

“No, I want you to come back back, sit hear and we talk”

“Oh okay” she said.

She started coming back and when she was going to start getting up the bed I repeated

” But you have to remove your wet trousers”

She looked down dejectedly. I knew she had not understood. And she started walking away again.

I wanted to know why she thought that removing her trousers meant she needed to leave my presence. I explained much more slower that she can just remove the trouser in my room and come up the bed.. This cutie has a beautiful gap and it melts my fears whenever she smiles. Her smile got me pulling her to myself and cuddling her. By the way I don’t do that a lot. As in the way I was raised us ‘Amerucans’ are not touchy touchy especially for me that grew up in the village.

I dont know if you understand the gravity of my non touchiness. As in for me to hug, I have to tell myself. It has to be intentional. You should see my hands crashing onto people’s belly’s as they try to hug me and I try to greet them as I extend my hand cluelessly! I know you will think its funny but its embarrassing😠

So at that huggy moment I re introduce my topic

“Baby I want us to talk”

“Okay” She says looking at me. And repeating that killer smile. It melts every single ice ranging inside my chest cavity. Okay. I am being a bit dramatic there from the effects of over watching Elsa! But the point is; I realized how much she has grown and I have not spent enough time with her. She was still a baby but sometimes concentrating on her baby sister had costed us some valuable ‘Mummy daughter fellowship’

So I started

“Tell me baby. Whats your name?”

“My name is Lakeisha” She answered confidently with that smile. Again.

“Oh Great. And what are your other names Lakeisha” I prodded on.

For a moment she didn’t say anything. It looked like she was wondering since when she got another name!

Nevertheless I pushed for my question and she answered.

“I am Lakeisha Lulu”

I was amused but taken aback. My baby girl did not know her second name. How is that even possible?

By the way Lulu is a name of one my daughters, but not Lakeisha’s. She had decided to adopt her older sisters name. Waaah. This is bad, This is Bad

I took time to make some corrections. “Your name baby is Zadi. Zadi, you hear me?”

Now, by the way. Let me humor you. I think George and I had either run out of creativity or were just to rhythmic such that our last two daughters have names that sound very similar. They all start with L and Z. You have no idea how many times I have written one Childs name as the other in School, In hospital, again: Its embarrassing!.

The latest being booking a ticket with Lyra as Zadi instead of Zuri. I didn’t even have the guts to tell the ticket agent I had made the mistake. I pretended someone else had done the bookings🙈🙈 Don’t Judge me!

After a minute or so we had mastered our new name. And we went on to other topics of the day. Like why she had a third name that was the same as her sisters. I explained that we all use our Daddies names.

Then I decided to take a few minutes to teach her some kingdom matters.

“And do you know we all have two Daddies” she looked at me like i was an alien. “Two daddies?”

“Yes, I answered knowing I had captured her attentions. Do you know who is your second Dad?

“Yes” she answered a bit unsure of her self “its mummie”

Okay. I did not see that coming! We have to correct this rather quickly😬

So I remind her that there is someone else that lives in heaven. And I introduce this new Daddy to her. We make a Daddy prayer to him. Something like.

“Hey Daddy, how are you doing up there. What are you doing right now by the way?…..”

We finish the prayer and we start discussing the critical issue at hand. Her constant wetting of herself.

Suddenly her countenance drops. She tries to keep on smiling. Because am still holding her tightly. She tries to get out of my arms. She is just too embarrassed clearly.

It confirms what I have been fearing.

Last week we were to visit a friend on Saturday afternoon. We had a delay. She called me back and asked “did you shave Lakeisha’s hair?” I answered No. And wondered why she had asked that.. I got to learn that she (my friend) had a dream that the kids had gone over to her house and Lakeisha’s hair was shaved. I believe in prophecy and I believe in dreams. They capture what’s happening in the spiritual before the actual deed manifests here on earth. If you don’t you better start looking into what you see while you sleep

I didn’t tell my friend but I took that dream message seriously. God speaks to us in codes in dreams. Sometimes he shows us the actual things. But like Jesus shared insights of the Kingdom with parables, he shares with us insights of the unseen with dreams and visions. As I prayed that day, I un coded the dream. Hair stands for Glory. The Bible says that a woman’s hair is her crown of Glory. If my babies hair was shaved in the dream, it meant that her glory was being cut off.

So I started praying to God to show me how this was happening here in earth as at now. And it suddenly occurred to me that her wetting herself was what was being used to bring her shame and consequentially low self esteem.

Before she would would only wet herself when pressed, now she wet herself all the time. These were no longer accidents it seems my baby wasn’t even aware the water was running out.

I asked her questions. I wanted to know why she didn’t go to the toilet when she needed to. “Every time I have an headache, susu comes itself” she said.

To be honest I think she may just have coined that up in her cheekiness. But what if it was true? What if there was a connection with her constant headache complains and the constant wetting?

We prayed again and booked an appointment with the doctor for the next day. I would take her through with all medical tests. And see if there was anything medically wrong with her.

I keep telling mothers, the devil is not after our kids lives. He is after their destiny. He kills steals and destroys for one purpose. To stop our young ones from getting to great destinies.

I call upon us mothers to pray. To see beyond our every days kids misbehavior as just bad character or that they have inherited bad traits from I dunno who. Look at the eyes of your loved ones and recognize that you can be a supportive driver to their destiny, or the Herod that will terminate a great little persons destiny.

I was okay with my daughters wetting, I know kids that have had the problem even when older. What I had missed was how much it was killing her self esteem. confidence was one of the biggest traits she is going to need in the future for her assigned destiny. of which God had already been gracious to show us when she was still in the womb.

If she loses confidence when she is young when her sisters and other children mock her for wetting herself one more time, when we scold her severely for being caress’s again…She may never have confidence to express herself.

She will stop believing in herself. And the works of evil will be completed. One more great destiny down.

So listen to me mothers. Learn to read into every habitual change in your kids. And go above basic social, psychology or scientific explanation there could be about it. May be just maybe by understanding that its a symptom. You will be able to understand the case and change your Childs life for good.

Meanwhile pray for us that this wetting thing will be a thing of the past…and our little girl can enjoy being held in a lap one more time.

Epilogue

4 years later we have seen the Lord build up so much confidence in this girl especially in the art of performance, She no longer has daily accidents, But at times if she drinks a lot at night she does have night time accidents. We have made it our purpose to make sure she doesn’t focus on the accident. She still looks so embarrassed and will look down with shame. But we are not allowing the enemy to build trauma around this one aspect. None of us parents is perfect, what we have is a perfect God that created our young ones that helps us

Author . Musician . Blogger
Caroline nkirote-Bongo

info@carolinebongo.com

+254 722 771442

Embracing the Sacred Union: Christian Marriage and the Power of Love

Embracing the Sacred Union

Christian Marriage and Power of Love

Love is a divine gift that permeates every aspect of human existence, and within the framework of Christian marriage, it takes on a profound significance. The bond between husband and wife is not only a celebration of human connection but also a reflection of God’s unconditional love for His creation. In this post, we explore the beauty and depth of Christian marriage, understanding its foundations in love, and discovering how it can serve as a powerful testament to God’s presence in our lives.

 

    1. A Covenant of Love: Christian marriage goes beyond a mere legal contract; it is a sacred covenant rooted in love. The Scriptures remind us that “love is patient, love is kind” (1 Corinthians 13:4), emphasizing the selflessness and compassion that should characterize this union. It is a commitment to continually grow in love, nurturing and supporting one another through life’s joys and challenges.

    1. Reflecting God’s Love: Marriage is an opportunity for spouses to mirror God’s love in their relationship. As Christ loved the Church, husbands are called to sacrificially love their wives, and wives are called to respect and support their husbands (Ephesians 5:22-33). By embodying these qualities, spouses can create a harmonious and loving partnership that testifies to God’s grace and faithfulness.

    1. A Journey of Unity: In Christian marriage, two individuals become one flesh, not only in the physical sense but also emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. The bond of unity allows couples to experience a profound connection, seeking God’s guidance as they navigate life together. By fostering open communication, trust, and mutual respect, spouses can create an unbreakable bond, strengthened by their shared commitment to God.

    1. The Power of Forgiveness: No relationship is without its challenges, but Christian marriage provides a foundation for forgiveness and reconciliation. Just as Christ forgives us, we are called to forgive one another (Colossians 3:13). By extending grace and forgiveness, couples can foster an environment of healing and growth, enabling their love to conquer any obstacles that come their way.

    1. The Sanctifying Role of Marriage: Christian marriage serves as a transformative journey, refining individuals and helping them grow in Christlikeness. Through the mutual support and encouragement found within the marital bond, spouses can help one another develop virtues such as patience, humility, and selflessness. Together, they strive to become better versions of themselves, drawing closer to God and inspiring others through their example.

Conclusion: Christian marriage is a profound and beautiful expression of love, a union that reflects God’s unending love for His creation. Through selflessness, forgiveness, unity, and a commitment to grow together in Christ, couples embark on a transformative journey that not only enriches their own lives but also radiates God’s love to the world. As we honor the sacredness of marriage, let us cherish and nurture the love we have been blessed with, serving as beacons of hope and inspiration for others seeking the true essence of love in their own lives.

 

 

Author . Musician . Blogger
Caroline nkirote-Bongo

info@carolinebongo.com

+254 722 771442

This Thing Called Marriage (ep 02)

This Thing Called Marriage

(ep 02)

As I walked out of our gate deliberating which route to take, I strongly heard the words of Philippians 4:6 replay in my head…

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God”

…Prayer walks for me are usually very therapeutic, and I so I decided I could talk to God. Now when it comes to my business with God, I dont really care who thinks I am nuts, I pray aloud! It has probably developed over the years due to the need to concentrate and focus on one thing at ago instead of 50! Of course when I get too close to someone I shut up or pretend I am singing….or pray while singing!

Taking the word of God literally I split my prayer into three:

1. To cast away anxiety

2. Give thanks to God

3. Present my request to God

I started by declaring that I would not be anxious over anything, not my financial needs, not my sisters situation, not the delay in releasing the book, not the fact the guest of honor had not confirmed his presence. I would only think positive. As long as I was speaking to the Lord I declared a clear mind free of negative influences.

We normally have a Friday miracle service at House of Grace Embakasi and I went in to see  pastor Mary two hours before. I wanted to ask George to come with me but I though he would feel bombarded since he didn’t even know what was going on in my mind in the first place!

We had a great time and I explained to her why I had wanted to see her. She is normally a keen listener and though I could see she was completely exhausted she listened to me asking some questions in the process. I am glad I did because she took me right back to the beginning of our relationship, right before marriage.  

We analysed my relationship with my husband and very soon realized the reason I was burning up earlier had nothing to do with the 1000K sh. It had everything to do with an overdue unresolved conflict.

Previously we could never argue about anything without quarreling (We are both extremely honest, and in saying what we exactly think we tend to hurt each other),  but of late being the one that gets angry quickly I had told myself that as long as I dont making him angry, he cant make me angry.

So I had decided that I would make sure I edit my words seriously so that I could not annoy him, in doing so I had stopped communicating how I was feeling but the problem was that hot magma was building up inside of me.

I then started giving thanks. Initially I wanted to do this quickly as a procedure since the holy spirit seemed to insist! But I was there for a long long time! I was there for so long that I had to tell myself to stop and now tell the Lord my petitions. While giving thanks I suddenly started thinking of how blessed I really was. That even if the book had not been released, I had managed to finish writing and published it.

That was the bigger step. And even without the book, the Lord had brought opportunity to minister in platforms I could never imagine being in: Mega churches in Nairobi, radio stations amongst others. I thanked God for the blessing of life and a second chance, of a husband and children, of our business….and I went on..

Finally I had to present my petitions and they seemed so minor! So minor I was done in half a minute! and to add in, I felt so much joy and I was no longer anxious. I decided there was no need to see my pastor anymore. Just as I was deliberating on that, She called in, she had already set aside sometime for me, so I decided I could still talk to her anyway, although I felt sorted now.

Pastor and I did a self analyses of me and she advised me that for every weakness the Lord points about me (today was anger) I take time, seek the word especially what it says about the same and pray and destroy it completely amongst other advises. As I left the office all I wanted to be was a better person, a better Christian and a better wife! I had to start serving deeply, thats the only way I could guarantee greater closeness to God, I wasn’t there yet, I know it!

For some reason I could not concentrate in the service as my mind was a twirl of activities. The need to serve came in me more strongly than it had done for a long time. I had realized for the 6 moths we had moved to this church that it would be impossible for me to operate in the schedule of the worship team since most of them were youngsters and flexible and being a mother of 4, and running businesses, I may not manage the tight practice and actual praise and worship sessions. It also meant attending both services per Sunday and precisely getting to church on time before the meetings for prayer and practice. I felt I would disappoint the leader Mercy who was very strict so I had kind of given up for now after attending two practice sessions.

But right there in the miracle service I was seeing a window of opportunity. Most Fridays when we came to church, there is usually no one to lead praise and worship. One Friday pastor Mary had to lead the worship herself! So in my mind I got this brilliant idea! I could talk to another recording artist and our friend: Em. I remembered last Sunday he had asked us “When will we join the praise and worship team?”  I dont know why Em hadn’t joined the worship team as yet but I figured out that if I could sell the idea to him and George, we could ask the pastor to give us Friday services only. And may be Sundays and tuesdays when the worship team would want to take a break. This way we could practice on our own convenient times.   as well, we could have the chance of doing what we loved most and when we were established and comfortable we could join the main worship team.

“Let me tell you something” He interjected , “one thing I know is that we made a mistake. we shouldn’t have been as vocal as we were the last day we went for practice, as far as I noticed the team was very positive to all our comments. But we should have been humble and not become teachers before learning”

Right there was a potential beginning to a 3rd world war!

I was offended!

The only reason I was suggesting we have our own day was because I didn’t want to repeat that Saturdays scenario.

Hadn’t I just said that? Was was his point now?

“Let me tell you, we are the problem and not the worship team” he went on all in the wrong direction. He clearly mis understood me (At this point I am sure you have also no idea was I was actually saying!). Note that for all the ‘we’ he put, my mind was screaming ‘you’ It was me he was clearly criticizing, he was just using the ‘we’ so that I wouldn’t take offence.

I knew what I wanted to say but I didn’t seem able to bring it out. he had understood what he had and he stuck to that.

What happened after that is a story for another day, but to cut the long story short, by the time we got home  it was like a whirlwind, somehow it had come back to the fact that he had refused to run business with my sister. I was so angry, I told him my mind, stomped out of the car and banged the door, and went back to our house.

So I couldnt wait to tell my loving hubby this great idea as we left the service: which we left feeling very cheerful! I was hesitant though because I knew these are some of the ideas he calls ‘sudden inspirations’! So I was very careful on how I was approaching the topic of communication. If he didn’t get it right, I could as well forget about it.

“I have this great idea” I started, hoping he would get as excited as I was about it.

“Sema” He prodded, to give credit to him, he totally believes in me and always wants to listen to what I have come up with (and this happens all the time!)

“I was thinking, since it may be too much for the worship team to accept all the comments we give them during practice, then maybe we and Em could ask to be given our own day to lead worship” I went on, clearly starting on the wrong footing. George hates negativity, and immediately goes on the defense of someone if he thinks you are badmouthing them.!

“Based on experience” I tried on, because I could see his face was not lighting up, so clearly he didn’t get my point ” being a professional musician means you may either want to be in a established band and if its a growing team, you may want improvement. Since its rude to come in talking too much, you may be forced to just be there and not enjoy the experience”

 Now let me tell you: George hates anyone walking out of him, and especially in the middle of a conversation, but then, I didn’t care what he hated or loved. I was done! He was so selfish, He was bad, I mused under stifled breath…..you would think I was talking of the devil incarnate!

After I got back to the house he remained in the car for two straight hours, I dont know what he was thinking, and I didn’t care for the 1st two minutes!

Then God started dealing with me. He took me on for a second self analyses in the day. I found a checklist on personality check in marriage and very quickly remembered that both my hubby and I had a wounded past.

For him it was suffering abandonment at childhood and for me it was failed and abusive relationship as an adult. We both are very protective of our cover so that we do not get hurt again.  But God prodded me to the fact that He only could change George, so its me He was interested in today. I was a work in progress, I had a long way to go.

I had too much hatred inside of me, I was carrying burdens of people that had hurt me in the past, and even though I told myself that I had forgiven them it wasn’t true.

I was still an angry girl, I was carrying in me a lot of anger from my past.

My husband was not the only victim of my outbursts, my family and friends had experienced it as well. The latest victim being my brother just a few weeks ago. What is it that made me so angry and vocal when I though someone didn’t care about me, or they are looking down on me? I agreed with the Lord, I was still a work in progress.  All I could pray then was that the Lord molds me. I am the clay and He is the potter!

Potter….mmmh!

There was my answer, what if the Lord hadn’t brought George in my life to make me happy but to make me a better person, and most importantly make sure I went to heaven. What if the purpose of marriage is not happiness but righteousness? I suddenly realized that the Lord was truly molding me, and in doing so He was using the people closest to me: and the nearest of them was the love of my life. It hurts, its hurts bad, it hurts when it is him that has to point out my wrong attitudes, it hurts when it is him that criticizes me.

While I was so angry at George for putting breaks into my life thus slowing me down, I realized I should thank him for preventing me from making a fatal accident of my life once more.

By the time I was done with this realization he came, quietly played with the kids, ate and retired early to bed (Very odd of him) I was on the computer for two hours after that and I realized what I had done. I was still angry with him for some of the crude things he had said to me in anger but I had to let go if I was to work in obedience to God.

So I went up to our bedroomed, sat on the edge of the bed for the longest time thinking whether I should do it. Finally I managed. I took the bed cover off his head, and softly planting a kiss on his lips told him I was sorry. Immediately I burst out laughing. It was the child in him up again! You see beside our sibling like fights with George, we are the best of friends. And more than me he hates it when we are not in talking terms. His smile as he patted my face and told me it was okay was worth a million dollars. And there and then were the age old play mates all happy again!

As I retire to bed today, I have to ask  myself what I really want in life. I know there are several areas of unresolved issues in our lives that will keep coming up, until we resolve them. But like pastor Mary had told me earlier in the day: we need to know how to solve them amicably without using weapons of mass destruction! This was just a day in our lives, many have gone past, many more will be coming. I could only pray that I will be wiser by day, knowing the treasure God has placed in my life in the name of George Bongo. The only one man to me who behaved like God himself, for he gave me a second chance in life!

Author . Musician . Blogger
Caroline nkirote-Bongo

info@carolinebongo.com

+254 722 771442

This Thing Called Marriage (ep 01)

This Thing Called Marriage

(ep 01)

Its time to retire to bed, but I have to do this. I am racking my brain on which of the many things that have happened to me today that I should share with you. May be I should just start from the beginning.

For starters I woke up 25 minutes to 12.00pm to be precise………I know!  I should be embarrassed with myself.  Which 21st century woman wakes up 8 hrs after the rooster has crowed! But I was sleepy, so sleepy that when I woke up my eyes were still red and swollen.

You see the fact is that when that rooster in ref up there crowed, our two daughters Nadia and Damita were on a competition to see who can out do the other speak in tongues. These two share a language that no one else in our family can understand, and considering they came from heaven later than all of us I have quietly decided they can actually communicate with each other, My mother in law actually says Chinese can understand them, is it true?. Right now as I write they are still talking! (They are 19 and 3 months respectively).

At about 12.30pm I had taken a shower, cleaned up both girls and was set to go. The beauty about sleeping is that you rarely remember your worries. But on waking up I remembered that I had to make calls to clients (I run a consulting company), and make follow up to the activities we are undertaking in their businesses. As well as to push for payments. So before even before taking a cup of tea I was on the phone for a while. As usual each call brought another list of to do’ items.

Its not my clients that were bothering me today though, it was something else, it was finances. We had a huge balance to pay to the printers to release my book ‘In the arms of a stranger’ money that we did not have. We had gotten someone to finance the project, both the printing and the upcoming launch, but they needed approvals from their bosses so we didn’t know whether this would be our source or not.

Sometimes I try to imagine if I could translate what they are saying to each other, it would probably be this.

“Why is mom nodding her head in agreement to everything we are saying” Asks Damitta

“Its what adults do when they want to sleep..it baffles me!” replies Nadia

“Why cant she then just lie down and sleep?” The baby sister enquirers

“Beats me”……and I can guess on they go without knowing that sleep is literally killing me then!

So while most of you were turning in your bed enjoying your last deep sleep and in dreamland, I was kept awake by my two angels. Finally they went to sleep continuously for 2 hrs without waking each other or demanding my attention. And just as I was getting accustomed to a good sleep, it was Damitta feeding time again!

I was at a point of panic, God seems to be opening every other way apart from getting the books in my hand.

I wanted to call Agnes the lady dealing with the finances, but I had called her twice this week and I felt I was pushing my luck too far.  It could work negatively for me.

I called up all my debtors but none would be releasing payments soon. George (My lovely hubby) asked me to be patient and if she doesn’t call by Saturday we could then call her on Monday.

Now if you know me you know Patience is not my 3rd name. When I was created Patience’ missed out in my AI (active ingredient) For some people like George waiting comes naturally. For me it can only be a fruit of the Spirit. I have to fast and pray to wait…literally for anything

There and then I started feeling even more restless. But agreed with him anyway (Its not like I had a choice!). Being married to George means you have to be rational, else you are on your own. Thats when I picked my phone and saw that my sister had text-ed me about some money I owed her!

She was being very patient because she had lost her job (With my encouragement that we could do business together) and now she was soon going to have a baby. The business proposal had not worked and worst still at the end of it, her and George were not seeing eye to eye.  The whole of this year therefore has been spent trying to overcome guilt that I was the one that messed up her life.

I asked George if he had a thousand bob so that I could send to my sister immediately at least to facilitate her movement, we had 1800K sh with us. He suggested we give her the 800 K sh and we remain with 1000 K sh. “No” I was immediately adamant. I want to give her the 1000K sh and we will have to look for the balance for ourselves. I could see he wanted to argue but he let it go. My emotions by then were flaring, but he had no idea. I was thinking that we had easily given the brother 1000 K sh the other day and he hadn’t even as argued with it, Did I feel hesitation in his voice about giving my sister the same?

So today on reading the message I totally got apprehensive. Everyday I have this bad feeling when I think my sister is all on her own (She is one stubborn girl and has decided she will raise the baby on her own!) What if anything went wrong? I have even tried to speak to her to come and stay with me until the baby comes but based from history she wont even think of it! So I imagine all sorts of things based from her message “I cry my self to sleep”

Immediately I started getting angry, angry that my sister could be suffering and there is nothing I could do. My anger automatically got a home, it naturally directed itself to George. After all he was the cause and source of all this, or so I thought

After feeding Damitta and getting her to sleep I slipped away quietly without letting Nadia or George Know. Nadia is a handbag,”If you know what I mean” She just wants to hang on my skirt. But I wanted to think and pray: and I couldn’t do so with a bag of energy in the name of my 3rd daughter running all over the road!

Armed with 1000K sh as a matter of priority so that I could load MPESA and send to my sister, I left the house. I was feeling a build up of negative emotions inside me and I knew where this would land me. I had to talk to someone. Now!. Even to me this was a very small thing but I what I didn’t know then was being an unresolved conflict it had the potential to blow up on my face any time now. It was a volcano waiting to erupt.  ………..tbc

Author . Musician . Blogger
Caroline nkirote-Bongo

info@carolinebongo.com

+254 722 771442

Elijah The Tishbite (ep 02)

Elijah The Tishbite

(ep 02)

As Elijah was led to the Kings chamber, His heart beat could be heard from Miles away, so his tensed mind thought. He had to breath in deeply to ensure the King did not catch an iota of fear in him. Every single step he took, he declared Gods word “I do not have the spirit of fear, but the spirit of power, love and sound mind”

As he got closer to King Ahab his heart did seem to calm down neither did it try to escape through his muscular chest.

Ahab told his servants to excuse them, leaving only his senior Aides and body Guards

Now Picture this.

So Elijah breathes in deeply and says to the King, probably a bit too loud to force confidence

” In the name of the Lord, the Living God of Israel… ”

“Wait” King Ahab counters midway “Ati which God? ”

Elijah had to repeat himself again; he hadn’t expected to be interrupted.

“In the name of the Lord God of Israel, the living God”

He paused to let that sink in. Ahab didn’t have to guess why he put in ‘the living God’ It was clear the Israelites disregarded the physical gods Ahab and wife worshipped as items of hand made materials. So they were not alive.

After insisting to George Bongo that I will have to deliver a message to the president, there I am walking in there like I own the White House. The president has most probably never heard my name, leave alone seen my face.

The statehouse guard says to his personal Assistant. “A woman called Caroline from Kenya is here, she says she has a message from God. I am fidgeting with both my hands and toes. The fear is real, because the message I am going to share is not one of hope, but one of destruction.

If you ever have to do this, make sure you clear both your bladder and your bowels. Because likely fatal accidents are likely to happen without your permission!

Ahab started getting angry already. We all know it’s not a good thing to get a King angry, and Elijah knew that too well. Yet He had to deliver God’s full message. For a short moment he started thinking otherwise. I mean, wasn’t he too young to die? Yet God had promised him to do great works through him? Maybe just maybe, this wasn’t the right time. There was a time to turn around and go out while his head was still on his neck

“Go on” Ahab thundered. Bringing Elijah back to life again in a split second. He had no option but release the balance of the message. Quickly before he could change his mind, and then go out there to meet a disappointed living God

He was caught between a rock and a hard place

” In the name of the Living God of Israel whom I serve” He said probably too quickly “I tell you that there will be no dew or rain for the next two or three years”

Ahab and the Aides almost died with laughter.

” Be serious dude, LoL is that all your living God sent you to tell me?” Ahab was genuinely tickled. “So what will you do man to make the rain stop, Will you collect the clouds and hide them in the palms of Gilead? ” Ahab continued mocking Elijah and causing the whole palace to almost turn into an amusement park, and Elijah the Tishbite was the source of entertainment. It wasn’t long before Queen Jezebel and others came and see what was causing such uproar.

And suddenly with the defiance of two year old he walked out of the Kings presence and out of the palace without even as much as a bow.

For a fairly; long moment every body remained static. No one in Israel or  Judah had ever shown this audacity. Even the guard didn’t know how to react.

Jezebel is the one that spoke up first. “Go go, he shouted to the guards “ Stop standing there like sycamore trees waiting to be picked from a fruit! Go get that idiot and put him in prison for insulting the king and everything he stands for.

One hour later the guards were not back. Ahab and his wife were wondering what took them so long. 

“Babes come and hear the wonders of the world” (By the way do presidents and Kings call their wives pet names?)

“What is it” Jezebel asked staring at Elijah from the top of his head to the tips of his toes in disdain. Suddenly Elijah was so conscious of his rugged looks and probably a not so pleasant smell in contrast to the expanse of the beauty of the palace. 

Elijah felt a sudden heat wave shoot through his head; it went through his heart to his feet and back to his heart shearing it to a million tiny pieces. For a moment he thought he might cry, but he wasn’t going to give this circus the pleasure. He was getting angry now, really angry. No one had ever mocked his God like this.

Suddenly with a shout that stunned even Jezebel He said

“There will be no rain or dew, until I say so: Period”

The guards came back with their heads hanging down like shriveled sunflower plants from too much heat, They knew they may be headless by the end of the day. For Elijah was nowhere to be see. It was impossible to explain how a battalion of security teams had failed to find one unharmed man who did not even have a chariot. He was gone like the wind. Just like that.

Luckily the guards were forgiven, they were needed for future evidence, but as expected, Elijah was put on the listing the most wanted national criminals.

At that moment no one thought much about Elijah apart from the fact that he had dared threaten the King, that is until the month of September when the rains were expected, and nothing was forthcoming.

Author . Musician . Blogger
Caroline nkirote-Bongo

info@carolinebongo.com

+254 722 771442

Elijah The Tishbite (ep 01)

Elijah The Tishbite

(ep 01)

Today we start an episode of the man Elijah. Firstly let me clarify that we get to hear the story of Elijah the original. I know very many little babies have been named after him over the years, but my mind is on the patent Elijah 🙂

Now, this guy is a Prof: in the sense of a prophet not a professor in a university, as we know it. When we get to hear first of him first in our book, the author calls him Elijah from Tishbe in Gilead.

My first thought as I studied this story was why did the author of the Book of Kings decide to call him “Elijah from Tishbe?

You see I am a writer and if I was to report about a person here in Rwanda. It’s unlikely I would say  ‘A man named Mugisha from Rwanda… ‘No. that would sound quite strange. It would work if it was more like ” A woman called Carol from Kenya. You see a Kenyan In Rwanda is unusual, but a Rwandan in Rwanda is normal. 

So its either Elijah is a foreigner or from a minority tribe in the nation of Judah.

So I decided to do a little research on Google (Thank God for Google) I discovered pleasantly that my suspicions was right. Tishbites were a small tribe of  immigrants that settled in Gilead.

Now allow me to put this into perspective for you.

So one morning I wake up and tell the King of the Princesses in my house “Sweetie God spoke to me last night, I have a message for president Kagame” Imagine for an instant its not the first time my husband has heard this. God has been sending me to deliver pretty tough messages to people, Messages that have put me into lots of trouble with friends and family.

The only difference is, none of it has been beyond the area chief.

One thing I can tell you will happen for sure is that before I even tell him what message am going to deliver, He will be disputing my source of information this time round. Yaani, it will be something like this

 “Carol please (he only calls me when he is speaking to me a matter of great gravity) “have you sat down to think that some of these messages you have could be coming from your sub conscious? “

 I mean we both know that you would pay anything to go and see Hon, but seriously, not with a Message from God …

I imagine us getting into an argument until he understands that the message is genuine and It’s a command from God not a request. And since he is a God fearing man, and he doesn’t want to have a meeting with thunder and lighting in the middle of the day when the sun is smiling widely to the earth.

He will let me go, and will be left praying and packing or vise versa.

The Bible in 1Kings 17 records that Elijah went up to the King, not any other King but to King Ahab. Now. Let me refresh to you who King Ahab was;

This was the King that is recorded to have made God angry more than any other King in the history of Israel. The Son of Omran the Army officer who overthrew the old Kingdom lineage of Jeroboam and took over the kingdom by force. 

  • Ahab married Jezebel, As in Jezebel! (The evil queen from Sidon who brought in her own prophets and killed Yahweh’s prophets)
  • Jezebel led him to worship Baal, a made up God (Now of all the sins that upset God, worshipping another God really sets him up)
  • Not only did he worship Baal, but he made a temple for him, just like Yahwehs temple
  • After making the temple he made an alter for this God!!  (he decided to offer sacrifices for his new found gods, instead of Yahweh)
  • Then he put up an image of a goddess Asherah (Not sure if it was to keep Baal company or she was a god all by herself)

So it doesn’t need expert imagination to figure out that Ahab did not care to hear from the God had he had rejected, leave alone from some Elijah from Tishbe

Anyways, in the middle of having a Kingly lunch, the kings aide come and informs Ahab that there is a man at the gate who claimed he has been sent by God. You must remember that Ahab is a God fearing man; the problem is that he fears some funny God’s. So he agrees and commands his aide to check Elijah up for weapons and allow him into his courts.

Elijah walked in looking more confident than his heart actually was. Ahab was a mean King by all standards, if half of his DNA came from his father, this did not escape Elijah’s knowledge as he took one painful step after the other as he approached the Kings throne.

Note to self: When you subscribe to the Mastership of Yahweh, be ready to do funny stuff, even risky stuff.

Author . Musician . Blogger
Caroline nkirote-Bongo

info@carolinebongo.com

+254 722 771442