Looking at Life Through My Daughter’s Eyes changed me. It saved me. These are the very lenses through which I now see the world.
Today, as I flipped through old albums filled with memories of my daughter and our journey, three photos caught my breath. They spoke to me — louder than words ever could.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but these three? They hold volumes — silent pain, unsaid prayers, whispered dreams, and a kind of redemption only God and a child can offer.
In their quiet stillness, lives a story of grief and grace, of heartbreak and healing, of the courage to love again. And somewhere deep within all of that… she saved me.
This first photo…
This is 2001. I am as confused as confusion can define. I am a worship leader and an emerging gospel artist who has a child out of wedlock—a contradiction I don’t know how to carry.
Every day after work, I came home to this little one, clinging to what little strength I had left. It was the start of the millennium, and I worked for a large export company that provided me with just a month of maternity leave beyond my annual leave days. That was my day off, baby is already two months old, but I was already back to work. I wore my only decent skirt suit — one that had been made for a wedding. But this was no celebration. I didn’t feel like a bride. I felt static, like a statistic; life had come to a standstill for me. I felt… lost.
this little baby was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on
Farm life had become my daily rhythm — jeans and t-shirts, muddy boots, and worn hands. That’s what I had studied, and that’s what I was doing. But nothing could have prepared me for being a single mother. Still, I wanted to capture this memory — because despite everything, this little baby was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on. All I did when I came home was stare at her, and somehow, she always met my gaze.
Still a baby. I don’t know if she could tell I was silently weeping inside. I didn’t know what our future held. I thought God — the one I had served all my life—was angry with me for breaking His laws. I was sure I had failed Him. But something inside whispered, He would still help us. He would not abandon us.
And He did, years later, I now see what He was doing.
I lived for her. And for her sister later on. But what I now know is that God didn’t just give her to me for me to raise her — He gave her to me to save me.
The second photo…
She’s about to turn seven at this moment. Just a little girl, but already carrying so much in her tiny, tender heart.
You see, by the time this picture was taken, she had already endured losses that shake even grown adults. She had lost her biological dad — a man she adored. They were so close, inseparable really. He wasn’t just her father, he was her friend, her safe place, her hero. And then, just like that, he was gone. Try explaining that to a child. Try watching your baby look around the house for someone who isn’t coming back.
And if that wasn’t enough, now she’s trying to adjust to calling someone else “Dad.” A man who loves her deeply, yes, but a new face, a new voice, a new everything. We’d already experienced separation once or twice, and every time I walked out the door — even for just a few hours — she would look at me with those eyes that screamed, Are you coming back? Please come back. She lived in quiet fear that one day I wouldn’t.
It’s too much. It’s too heavy for any child to carry, let alone at seven.
And yet, this little girl? She remains a literal burst of joy. Always giggling. Always chatting. Always dancing or making up a story or fixing her doll’s hair or bossing everyone around like the little queen she is. She lights up rooms. She lifts atmospheres. She makes people laugh even when they don’t want to smile.
I remember that day so clearly. I was holding her hand — on one side — and George was on the other. He bent down and gently told her he wanted to marry Mami, and that he wanted to be her dad. My heart was pounding — not just from the proposal, but from the question I couldn’t voice out loud: Would she accept him? Would she feel safe again?
But without hesitation, she said yes. Yes. Yes.
It had been almost a year, and by that time, she and her sister had come to love him. They saw how he loved me. How he showed up for them. And in her own quiet way, she had already made room for him in her heart.
I don’t even know if she fully understood what was happening — if she grasped the magnitude of what he had just asked — but I remember that smile. That radiant, innocent, oh-so-pure smile. The kind of smile only a child who has been kissed by heaven can give. Joy and purity wrapped in one little human.
She didn’t speak much — but her eyes said everything:
“Mama, I love you. I’m with you. If you’re happy, I’m happy.”
That’s who she is.
That’s who she’s always been.
And now, looking back, that moment… that smile… that little squeeze of my hand — it was her way of blessing me. Of giving me permission to heal. Of saying, You don’t have to carry this alone anymore, Mami. I’m still here. I still believe in you.
She stood in between pain and promise — and chose love.
And that’s what she has always done. Even now.
And now… the third photo.
She’s grown. She’s travelled nations and crossed continents. She’s won awards and accomplished things that I only dreamt of at her age. But above all, she still loves the Lord with all her heart.
She still meets my eyes, even now, across cities and time zones, with the same gaze that once saved me. But this time, it’s deeper. Wiser. Sometimes when life is too heavy for even me to understand, it is she who steadies my heart. She always brings Heaven’s perspective. And what humbles me most? She never gives answers without first asking God, “What do You think about this?”
Lately, I’ve found myself calling her — not to check in on her, but to ask her for counsel. And she gives it. Gently. Prayerfully. Boldly. That’s when I realized… the wisdom this girl carries is a grace I once begged God for.
And something about that stirred a longing in me — a fire that had long gone dim.
She made me want to write again.
You see, when I was younger, I used to write stories, songs, reflections, and dreams. But the chaos of life, the disappointments, the shame — it all silenced my voice. I stopped writing. I stopped dreaming. I stopped believing that I had anything to say. But through her life, her fire, her resilience… I found my voice again.
This year, I’ve picked up the pen again. And this time, I’m praying for consistency. I’m praying that I don’t stop — not just for me, but for her. For her sisters. So that they will always know — no matter how many detours, failures, or silent seasons — you can always begin again.
Because that’s what her life teaches me every single day:
That God never wastes anything.
That nothing is beyond repair.
That the same womb that bore shame can birth revival.
That His grace can still write beauty over broken beginnings.
This weekend, Kaylene turns 24.
And yes, I’m scared — because it means so many things. It means she may soon be swept away by a handsome man (please, Lord, let him fear You!), or a calling, or a ministry, or a mission that takes her far from me. But it also means this: my baby saved my life.
Please wish her a happy birthday with me — send an M-PESA, a Cash App, PayPal, World Remit, a love note, a prayer, a dance, anything! 😂
But above all, thank God for her life with me.
Because Kaylene…
She’s not just my daughter—she’s a content creator, a budding musician, a recording and performing artist, and the one who unknowingly reignited my writing flame; she saved me. Watching life through my daughter’s eyes has inspired me to pick up my pen again, and I pray that I remain consistent, so that she and her sisters will always know: You never give up on your gift.
🌟 Follow her journey, cheer her on, and enjoy her incredible talent through the links below:
📺 YouTube: Watch here
📹 TikTok: @godsfavouritepancake
📷 Instagram: @kaylen.e
📘 Facebook: Kaylene Bongo
Your support means the world. Let her light and music remind you: there’s always a reason to keep going. 💛🎶
Even in the deepest shadows, a soul molded by grace and trial will one day emerge, shining with radiant strength
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