A Journey of Faith, Growth, and Love
As I walked out of our gate, deliberating which route to take, the words of Philippians 4:6 echoed powerfully in my mind:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
Prayer walks have always been therapeutic for me. So I decided to talk to God aloud, as I often do. Over the years, it has helped me focus, block out distractions, and truly connect with Him. If someone’s nearby, I’ll quietly switch to humming or praying through song.
Taking Scripture literally, I structured my prayer in three parts:
- Cast away anxiety
- Give thanks to God
- Present my requests to Him
I began by declaring that I would not be anxious, not about finances, my sister’s situation, delays with the book, or an unconfirmed guest of honor. I claimed a clear mind and chose to focus only on what is good.
Later that day, I went to House of Grace Embakasi to meet Pastor Mary before our usual Friday Miracle Service. I had thought of inviting George to come along, but I didn’t want to overwhelm him since he wasn’t aware of the burden I carried.
My session with Pastor Mary was healing. Despite her exhaustion, she listened attentively and helped me trace the root of my turmoil. It wasn’t about the 1,000 shillings I thought had upset me. It was about an unresolved conflict in my marriage.
In trying to maintain peace, I had stopped expressing how I truly felt. Instead of engaging in difficult conversations, I edited my words to avoid triggering my husband. But the hurt had been building up like hot magma.
Then I moved to the second part of my prayer: giving thanks. What I thought would be a quick moment stretched into a deep, overwhelming flood of gratitude. I thanked God for allowing me to write and publish the book, even if it hadn’t been released. I praised Him for the unexpected platforms to minister, my family, our business, and above all, life.
When it came time to present my petitions, they felt so minor compared to what I had just acknowledged. Joy had replaced my anxiety.
Still, I decided to speak to Pastor Mary. She advised me to work on the areas God reveals, like my anger, with prayer and Scripture. As I left, I only wanted to be a better woman, wife, and Christian. I felt the desire to serve grow stronger than it had in a long time.
But being a mother of four and a businesswoman, the demanding worship team schedule didn’t suit me. So I had given up after two practice sessions. Yet, during the Miracle Service, I saw an opportunity. Fridays often lacked worship leaders. I thought, what if Em, George, and I took charge of Friday services and filled in when needed on Sundays or Tuesdays?
I shared the idea with George carefully. He supports my ideas, but I knew how I presented it mattered. Unfortunately, my wording came off wrong. He felt I was criticizing the worship team. Tension escalated fast. He mentioned we had mishandled our previous session with the team by being too vocal. I was offended. Misunderstandings piled up. The discussion ended in frustration.
By the time we got home, everything exploded. Even unrelated issues like his decision not to do business with my sister resurfaced. I stomped out of the car, furious.
Two hours later, I was still fuming, but God began dealing with me. I reflected deeply and realized both George and I carry wounds from our pasts, his from abandonment in childhood, mine from an abusive relationship. Our protective instincts clash, but God was speaking to me that day.
I had become someone quick to anger, still burdened by unresolved hurt. I’d lashed out at family and friends, including my brother recently. I wasn’t healed yet. But God, the Potter, was molding me.
What if George’s purpose in my life wasn’t to make me happy, but to make me better? What if marriage was less about happiness and more about righteousness? That painful revelation opened my heart. George wasn’t slowing me down, he was saving me from wrecking my life again.
He came in later, played with the kids, ate, and went to bed without a word. I stayed at my computer until I finally realized what I needed to do. Still angry, still unsure, I went upstairs, sat by the bed for a long time, and then finally kissed him on the lips and said, “I’m sorry.”
He smiled, patted my face, and said, “It’s okay.” Just like that, two best friends were back again.
As I went to bed, I asked myself what I truly wanted in life. Conflicts will always arise, but like Pastor Mary said, we need to resolve them without resorting to weapons of mass destruction. This was just another day in our journey. More will come. But I pray I grow wiser with each one, knowing the treasure God has placed in my life: George Bongo, the man who gave me a second chance and who loves me like only God can.
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